Common Tragedies

Thoughts on Environmental Economics

ET to the rescue

Posted by Danny Morris on May 14, 2009

Seriously people? We’ve been talking about energy and climate issues for years, and with all the brilliant people out there devising clever solutions, you’re telling me no one though of the most obvious solution? Of course I’m talking about stealing alien technology and using it for our benefit. Even though we’ve all dropped the ball, a lobbyist named Stephen Bassett is picking up the slack for us and Greenwire (sub req’d) reports on his crusade:

The government has in its possession “extraterrestrial vehicles,” lobbyist Stephen Bassett said. As in flying saucers.

Imagine the power source, he said, behind a 30-foot wide saucer that weighs the same as a tractor-trailer yet hurtles through galaxies at 20,000 miles per hour.

“What is the energy system operating that craft?” Bassett said. “They’re not burning kerosene.”

He added, “It eliminates oil. It eliminates coal. If it’s as good as we think it is, it transforms everything.”

No more ozone hole or melting polar ice caps, Bassett said. And the price of electricity would drop to almost nothing.

Bassett believes this. Fervently.

Well, I’m sold. It’s about damn time we stop importing energy from unstable parts of the world and starting utilizing energy we snake from much more stable civilizations in other solar systems. If Obama is truly the most popular leaderin the galaxy, then he should have no trouble negotiating with the Alpha Centarians for some friendly interstellar technology transfer. Bassett obviously agrees:

Those who believe the truth is out there have been waiting for someone like President Obama to come clean about the government hiding information on extraterrestrials, Bassett said. Obama would be “sensitive to the concerns of the military intelligence community,” Bassett said, plus he is popular worldwide, and he “has the intelligence to handle it.”

Bassett and fellow believers during the presidential campaign launched the “Million Fax on Washington” and have been sending Obama faxes and e-mails and leaving voice mail messages asking him to admit that E.T. is real. Documents should be released. There should be congressional hearings. And that spaceship technology should be made available to the public.

Next step: electric-dilithium crystal hybrids that go from 0 to 670,000,000 mph in 1.2 seconds and get XM radio.

One Response to “ET to the rescue”

  1. smonrad2 said

    I love conspiracy stories. The evil government is keeping alien technology from us. The oil companies bought the rights to a car fueled by water and buried the idea.

    There aren’t any easy answers to the energy problem.

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